Welcome to the Family: The Continuation of a Turkmen Wedding Story

Hello all! So if you remember all the way back to February I told you all about how my host brother was going through the process of getting married. At that time my family had just received the dowry list to begin purchasing items for the new bride. So I’ll pick up where we left off.

Now, I cannot tell you all that was on the list, because frankly I don’t know everything, but to put it into an America prospective it was a lot like having a bridal shower. In the US couples have bridal shower where their friends and family literally will shower them with gifts that they have pre-registered for at department stores. Well, Turkmen dowries are not that different. The bride writes a list of what she would like to receive and the boy’s family must provide her with everything at a party that is held at the girl’s house. The main difference is that the gifts are all provided by the boy’s family, but extended family members help in this process. Our new bride’s dowry included things like dresses, pillows, and a stereo. It also included more traditional items like 5 kilograms of flour, fried bread, and money to purchase a goat that will be sacrificed at her house the week before the wedding.

It took us a long time (about 6 months) to compile everything that she had requested on the list and then we were able to present her with our gifts at a party at her house. This party was only for the women of the families and in Turkmen it is called Ot Guluk. So a few Saturdays ago we called all of our women relatives and neighbors to our house and we had our Ot Guluk. It was quite a festive affair. It started with all of the women dancing and celebrating at our house as the gifts were loaded into the cars. Then we all piled into a bus and drove over to our new bride’s house to present her with the gifts. Upon arrival we got out and our musicians started up the music for us to dance again as the gifts were brought into her house. Then it was time for everyone from our family to meet the new bride (the Gelin in Turkmen) and welcome her to the family. She was sitting at the head of the “table” (there was no actual table as Turkmen eat on the floor) wearing a small gold crown and looking as demur as a Turkmen Gelin should look, she was very beautiful. Then we all proceeded in a procession to present her with a new head scarf for her to wear when she got married. We all came in a line and laid the scarves on her head, a sign of respect and welcoming her into the family. After the food the real show began, by real show I mean it was time for our family to give everything away.

The presentation of the gifts was done in a separate part of the house because the Gelin should not see the new gifts. When you entered the other room you could see the two families divided waiting in anticipation to see what we would present. There were family representatives with their own copies of the Gelin’s list out ready to check off items as they were presented. Our neighbor and Aunt, Lachyn, was our representative. Then the items were read individually as my host mother and Lachyn passed the gifts to her mother. With every gift there was a gasp of awe at the beauty of our offering. Finally, in the end her mother said we had sufficiently provided for her family and we celebrated with the new Gelin in the other room with cake. The cutting of the cake was interesting because it seemed like the Gelin had to feed everyone. She fed my mother, her mother, her grandmother, and all of my sisters. Then my host mother fed her, her mother, and her grandmother. After the cake ceremony we all went outside, with the Gelin, and she danced for the first time with our family. It was fun to see everyone let lose a little bit. Finally after the dancing we loaded onto our bus again and left. Thus ending the Ot Guluk Ceremony.

The next portion in our saga will be a big one; the weddings! Yes that’s right, plural! Both will take place in September so be on the look out for that post then! Stay tuned as next time I will have more guest bloggers. My parents will be taking a 7 day trip to Turkmenistan to see me, meet my family, and get a real taste of Turkmen culture! It should be a good one! Until then, Sog Bol!